/bill's House O Insomnia : Humor, News

The Microsoft® Windows Mobile Line of Business Solution Accelerator 2008!

William — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 13:04:00 GMT

The main features include:

Intelligent resolution awareness
Synchronization Services
Windows Communication Foundations "Store and Forward"
MapPoint
LINQ
Custom Controls
Managed Stored Procedures and Triggers
Notifications and Online Help
Language Switching and Localization

Some of these (WCF, Synchronization Services) are a lot more thrilling than others but all in all it's a great step forward. With that said, I think MS really needs to work on a few things. When the iPhones first came out, I was lucky enough to have one sent to me. I liked it but didn't go gaga over it. After two days, I decided to sell it. I think UI wise, it was far ahead of a typical SmartPhone although the PocketPC edition phones gave it a lot better run for the money. But I know that my opinion is not typical. In fact, most iPhone users who have used or use Windows Mobile are really adamant about the superiority of the UI and usability. I think some of that is b/c they are comparing a 500.00 phone with a much cheaper one in many cases but across the board, the iPhone does probably have the advantage. Having started to toy with the iPhone SDK, I have to admit it's fairly easy to pick up (nowhere near as easy as the Compact Framework) so once more applications come out for it, it will make it all the more attractive to mainstream users. I have a lot of faith in Microsoft though and nothing would please me more than for Windows Mobile 7.0 to work so well that my obnoxious iPhone owning friends will have to pipe down about the greatness of the iPhone. The accelerator however, is definitely a step in the right direction.

Interesting Mac iBook story

William — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 21:16:00 GMT

Every time I hear about the TSA, I become more and more convinced that if Darwin's theory is correct, the TSA will cease to exist before long. The latest 'can they really be this stupid?' incident has to do with a Mac Airbook. At first I started thinking along the lines of a corollary to Chris William's 'Grandma Theory'. Maybe the TSA officers weren't dumb and clueless, maybe they were just older and technologically illiterate. But that can't be the case here b/c they clearly know enough about technology to know what a hard drive is and what ports are. They knew enough to think there's something fishy about a computer without a disk drive and ports. That made me start to envision a Cliff Clavenesque know-it-all who is a self-proclaimed computer whiz - trying to look smart in front of his/her peers. It's kind of hard for me to imagine that a TSA agent, unless they just started (and his comments indicate more than one TSA agent was involved), hasn't come across an iBook by now. At a minimum you'd think they would have come across some really thin/small computer that wouldn't have had a disk drive in it.

"I'm standing, watching my laptop on the table, listening to security clucking just behind me," Nygard recalls of the situation. "'There's no drive," one says. 'And no ports on the back. It has a couple of lines where the drive should be,' she continues."

Assuming the reports are true and accurate , this would be hysterical if these people weren't 'protecting' our country (and at ridiculously high union wages). My personal experience with TSA is a lot different. While they are often strange, bitter and/or incompetent, they don't seem technologically clueless. I have a travel bag that I keep my Ultra-mobile, my Zune, Phone, Headphones, USB Hub, a trackball and a few other misc items in. It always causes them to run it through the machine a few times (even when I pull just about everything out). But usually, after they see what all the stuff is individually, they either make some gadget geek joke or ask about one of the items (the most common one is asking if my Zune is 'the new iPod').

Why Technical People shouldn't design interfaces...

William — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 03:24:00 GMT

Not too long ago , I discussed the fact that programmers are pretty much the last people that should be developing interfaces. My point wasn't that developers are incapable of understanding good UI design concepts, it's just that for some reason or another...(read more)

A little bird told me Caustic Phil's coming back.

William — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 19:57:00 GMT

Well, I'm home sick today and feel like I'm about to die, but I got some good news that cheered me up. Looks like He's gonna be back Keep posted!

Torture?

William — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 23:41:00 GMT

I'm not in any way trying to get into the whole Gitmo thing or whether or not we should torture suspected terrorist with important info if they won't talk. However I just read this:

<<Dripping Water or Playing Christina Aguilera Music: After the new measures are approved, the mood in al-Qahtani’s interrogation booth changes dramatically. The interrogation sessions lengthen. The quizzing now starts at midnight, and when Detainee 063 dozes off, interrogators rouse him by dripping water on his head or playing Christina Aguilera music. According to the log, his handlers at one point perform a puppet show “satirizing the detainee’s involvement with al-Qaeda.” He is taken to a new interrogation booth, which is decorated with pictures of 9/11 victims, American flags and red lights. He has to stand for the playing of the U.S. national anthem. His head and beard are shaved. He is returned to his original interrogation booth. A picture of a 9/11 victim is taped to his trousers. Al-Qahtani repeats that he will “not talk until he is interrogated the proper way.” At 7 a.m. on Dec. 4, after a 12-hour, all-night session, he is put to bed for a four-hour nap, TIME reports. >>

Genie in a Bottle sucks pretty bad, but I can think of a lot worse. Remember that band “The Jets”? Man did they suck. What about Michael Boltons “Wheennn I 'm back on my Feeeeett Aggaaainnn” Or what about when New Kids on the Block became NKOTB and tried their hand at being thugs “No sell out, so get the hell, we do thing our way, Yahhhh Boooyyy, We don't give a DAMN what the critics say” I always had a hunch that Jordan Knight didn't really have it in him to make it big on the Thug Circuit. Ok, and what about Achy Breaky Heart, Every Rose has it's thorn by Poison?

Ok, let's do our part to be partriotic here and please post whatever stuff you can think of that REALLY Sucks. As bad as Christina sucks, there's a lot worse that they could be playing, don't you think?

Dear Apress....

William — Fri, 13 May 2005 16:11:00 GMT

As a loyal customer, I need to ask you for one favor. This is a very petty and immature request on my part, but I have to ask it anyway. Please don't give Tobin any more HardCovers for his books:

Working with Tobin is hard enough as it is because he outdoes me at everything, we have essentially a Homer Simpson, Ned Flanders relationship. Everything I want, he's already got. Every time I learn something new, he already learned it. Every time we have a discussion on politics or religion, he beats me. It's brutal to deal with. He's beaten me to being an author by a few years and now that I'm finally having an opportunity to publish, I thought I had finally caught up. UNTIL THIS!!!!!!!!!! A Hard Back Book? Ok, I can see why Ingo gets a Hard Back. I can see why Mark & Jason got one. But Tobin too? Ok, I'll admit it, his threading book was Threading book was great and this book is too - but it doesn't deserve a Hard Cover. Why? Because I'm jealous that's why. So this of course means war! I need to write a better book then him first, and then I need one that's hard cover. (A little know secret about www.tibasolutions.com is that I was hired in large part because of my stunning good looks (Tobin was hired solely for technical prowess (and while it's true that his wife is probably one of the hottest ladies in NC or SC, I can only think she married him b/c she's really impressed by men who know their way around Code Access Security), we were trying to help develop a studly programmer image which I've done wonders to make happen. Here's a huge possible benefit for my next publisher, they could put my Mug on the Front of the book and that should at least cause a few thousand extra sales.)

Also, the .NET For Strippers - A Practical Guide to Design Patterns, .NET and other interesting topics - project is open again. That's right, if FYM, Wired, GQ or any other magazine wants to write an article on it, or any book publisher wants to break new ground in book coolness, KC and I are your men.

Anyways T, congratulations on the new book man and thanks for the complimentary copy. Hopefully some of your brainyness will start rubbing off on me ;-)

Beating a drug tests

William — Fri, 01 Apr 2005 16:30:00 GMT

Well, read at your own risk - but it's pretty interesting

New VB Petitions....

William — Sun, 13 Mar 2005 15:36:00 GMT

http://www.cadencoding.net/blogs/users/cornbread/comments.aspx?id=149

http://www.atrevido.net/blog/PermaLink.aspx?guid=a1db3a46-466b-440b-ad71-55b13e2feb75

The most Disturbing I've seen since the "Gimp" scene in Pulp Fiction.

William — Tue, 22 Feb 2005 02:33:00 GMT

Ok, assume Pulp Fiction was real life. Who would you rather be, this poor SOB or Marsallus Wallace? Just like the Bobbit case, I'm wondering how far down the chopping went... but I better stop here because the next stream of consciousness is just too disturbing. Ladies, if he's a bum - get rid of him. This sort of stuff is just totally uncool and the mere mention of it is enough to cause permanent 'dysfunction' in most normal men. Hat Tip to Andy for this one

A little humor from my friend Andy

William — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 02:52:00 GMT

How not to post in a newsgroup...

William — Tue, 01 Feb 2005 01:47:00 GMT

I was just watchign CNN and it appears that KC's brilliant CAPTCHA article edged out the Iraqi elections in terms of interest. If I can just put something in perspective:

From microsoft.public.dotnet.languages.csharp:

<<I would like to know how to write a spyware program.>>

One every count this post is just wrong. Ignore for a second the moral implications.

First he made a statement and didn't ask a question.

Second, “Spyware” is a bit vague and short on details.

Third, he's asking for information that, if provided, would probably help him faciliate committing a crime.

Now for the good part. He only got 4 responses. Three of them telling him why he's an idiot and one telling him how to do it. This is in a Microsoft newsgroup by the way. The sheer stupidity of it alone qualifies it as spam or trollbate. Two MVPs pointed these facts out to him. Anyone want to bet me that KC has caught crap from more than 2 MVPs? [Please also note that I respect the heck out of a lot of people that were bothered by this - I just don't happen to agree with their indignation]. But I ask, who's more likely to cause problems, KC or script kidde wannabe?

I can already hear the replies “Well, that dude is just an idiot, he won't be able to pull it off anyway” or “He didn't actually write any spyware”. IF that's the case, then please tell me how posts like this in newsgroups are less of 'spam' than what Casey did? If we're going to get self-righteous here - at least we should be a little more consitent about it?

---------

KC - please note that since now we are officially members of the MVP Leper colony - you're obliged to hang out with me at the summit and post some pictures of TS ;-)

http://www.everythingado.net

William — Sun, 30 Jan 2005 08:45:00 GMT

Well, I finally bit the bullet and purchased my site from Brinkster. I'm going to be hosting blogs for a few of my disaffected DNJ friends - but well, due to the nature of the site - I'm not handing them out to everyone - If I know you, or you can convince me your not a dork, or if you're a dork and can convince me you have some technical content - drop me a line or if you're a regular contributor to a newsgroup that begins with microsoft.public.dotnet.framework - if it ends with compactframework or adonet then you're automatically invited. I'm also going to have a Uncensored portion or which is going to be cool - Bridgette Kerkove, Jenna Jameson, Janine & TS type of cool. I'm debating about how to host the “Unrelated Cool“ content - probably make it restricted access. And on the off chance you're wondering - no, I'm not moving my blog over there. I really dig it here. But I want to do a few things. Sahil already found a good place but it seems DNJ is going to crap these days - I see more Exception messages than I do content since 2005 began. I also want to host a few web services that are public, a few private ones that I can dish out the tokens to if people are interested... etc etc.Part of the reason I want to host my own Text stuff is b/c I want to mod it out - and I can't create skinz and stuff without being an pain in the a33 to the wonderful patron of this site. basically I just want a playground - ADO.NET and Compact Framework oriented - where I and other people that don't write me STUPID hate mail all the time can use.

But the real rub is that it looks like they are going to let me install the 2.0 framework to run some ASP.NET 2.0 and Yukon samples on. Still gotta check with MS and make sure this is ok but I think it will be. If it is, then there's Lot's o Potential. Can't get too into the details now - but using Yukon - there's potentially a much cooler way to send out notifications that articles have been posted, blogs updated, or Bridgette has another movie available. Also, Sonny & EDC the Coding Cuckooz are going to be active in development - and you know what sort of stuff they are interested in. Suffering at the moment from More ideas than ability to stay awake...............

Setting up .Text is a total pain in the a33 - at least so far it has been. It's mainly the web interface and all the f**** sql scripts that I have to run - ONE AT A TIME. Anyway, I'm screwing around with .NET Nuke and one of the starter kits. can't figure out which one I prefer. Feedback is welcome.

I'm also working w/ one of the starter kits but I'm leaning more toward .NET Nuke. Not sure if the hype is real but I hear it is - so sometime tomorrow hopefully I'll have made up my mind. I won't be doing anything other than sitting in my apartment wondering why this whole f~ck1ng city is shut down b/c of 1/2 an inch of snow - so I should get something done.

house.config

William — Thu, 06 Jan 2005 04:39:00 GMT

Unfortunately, there is no such thing but I really wish there were. Moving Blows. At least I'm not the only one going through it - but Beth's moving in - I'm just shuffling things around. That got me to thinking - the next time I hear someone start telling me about how lame programming is as a field compared to architecture - I've got a good response. How about this: I'll create a house with all my stuff in it - created as objects. Then we'll see who can move my new BodyGuard Quantum from the computer cave to my bedroom faster. Hell I can do it by just editing my config file - show me an architect that can do that.

Anyway, I'm kind of pissed right now. Changed the house around and moved the Quantum and the eMac into the master bedroom. This was a motivational thing. I can't have the Quantum staring at me and not use it. And by having a computer handy - I can multitask. Need a bluetooth keyboard and mouse though. I don't have it mounted in front of the Quantum yet but that's on the list for this weekend. I actually feel guilty for not working out today - but I went at it pretty rough yesterday and I'm just plain aching. I can at least run two miles now - which is totally pathetic in one sense - but it's progress. I can feel the leg strenght coming back and considering how overweight I got, I can clearly see a stride developing.

So in the Office I have my 2003k Server which is my main machine, a dell, a linux server and my books. The laptop moves around with me.

So I started to get down with From Bash to Z Shell and I'm loving it. It's a Linux focused book indirectly - but it's actually about Shells first and foremost. So I wanted to get a little more intimate with the Mac and was making good progress. But the whole Joy of Mac is the GUI - started feeling manly and decided to tackle the linux server. I was already to go and then my other monitor went down ;-( Monitors are cheap though so it will only be a temporary impediment. I think I may even be able to talk Kim into giving me her old one since some wonderful kind guy bought her a 19' Flat Panel for one of her Christmas presents (I also got her an XM Radio - SkiFi2 - which I want to grinch out on and take back since it's better than mine and has replay functionality in it - however taking back an XM Radio from someone is next to impossible so i'm probably just going to have to buy another one myself so I can maintain my cool technology dominance because as sweet as she is, she can talk some smack when she wants to and hearing how 'lame' my XM radio is was too much to bear).

Anyway, back to the command line. Having lots of fun with it. It's really weird b/c you get this feeling of being One with the computer after you start jamming on the command line for a while. The Mac still has a really 'pretty' interface for it - so it's not as studly feeling - but then again, the One Click mouse thing oozes girleymanness so I'll take what I can get.

This started to bring out the true reclusive crumudgeonly misanthropic side and I got to thinking - if we could only start replacing people with Shell Scripts, this would be a really cool world. From Bash to Z Shell almost has everything I need to do it. Don't worry - I won't be replacing any of my dear readers or most other people Shell scripts - but the MORONS at www.tigerdirect.com (and yes, I mean Moron in the most vicious sense of the word because they suck so bad - more on this later) are prime for replacement. I'm thinking of calling it the Ultimate Solution. With a little luck, I may be able to get my candidate selection process syndicated into a reality show.

Contestant 1: I read teach yourself Access in 24 hours and now I'm a full fledged programmer. I really like use Variants and think Option Strict SLows me down. That Normalization stuff is a bunch of whooey too.

ME: You win! Please wait here for 2 minutes while I create a shell that can do everything productive you've ever been capable of doing and then some, and follow me over to the Cliff of Death - I mean the Xtreme Bungee Challenge- don't worry about not having a Bungee

Contestant 2: I have a bunch of “Imagine world peace” stickers on my car - and I drive a Yugo b/c it's what good Citizens of the world do. And I get really upset when people tailgate me when i'm in the passing lane in 1-95 and going just under the speed limit during Rush Hour. And I really get mad when people tell me that I should wear Right Guard instead of Pachouli - I think deoderant is what stinks

ME: Ok, you're not even worthy of a script. Please step off the cliff - I mean over to the Bungee challenge

Contestant 3: Hi, I'm Raul and I handled your order for TigerDirect. I know you ordered it on the 16th of December and paid $50.00 for overnight shipping and I know we billed your account immediately put didn't begin processing until the 20th, and I know that we promised it woudl be shipped out on the 20th and in time for Christmas - and that it wasn't shipped out until the 24th and didn't arrive until the 29th -and I know we acknowledged it was all our mistake but if you read the fine print:

ME: Ok, ECHO “My mom should have aborted me - really - and our gene pool should be bleached” ECHO “Tiger Direct Totally Sucks from Start to Finish” Ok, done. Please step over to the Ultimate Nuclear Reactor Diving Challenge - if you can jump in the core of the reactor and retrieve the candle that's sitting in the middle of it, without any of it melting - you win.

------------- Well enough of this - time to go learn my 20 new words for the week and finish writing some real shell scripts.

Caustic Phil is Back!

William — Mon, 03 Jan 2005 22:16:00 GMT

I just got this response:

<i actually am going to write about this very same topic...as soon as i finish up my current post i'm working on (which turning into something way, way, too long) >

From none other than Caustic Phil

How did this happen?

William — Sat, 11 Dec 2004 07:09:00 GMT

Neil scored OS X - Lucky SOB. I don't know If I should be proud or embarassed but if was Win NT Workstation or ME, I was going to be pissed. I was hoping for Windows 2003 Server - not sure if that's an option though.

Which OS are You?

CJavaBasic++# - "Don't miss out on thousands of tech jobs"

William — Sat, 11 Dec 2004 02:30:00 GMT

I got this from the but I didn't want to steal any of his bandwidth so I copied the image myself:

Jeez, this is so friggin terrible that I don't think I want to ever write another line of code. What langauge is this?

You can use = for both assignment and evaluation (VB). You open with braces but close with end (LSD). Assignable Goto statements (WTF). You can simply reference properties without assignment? String variables can have periods in them --- or maybe dice is an object - not sure there.

If Dice wants to be the 3l1t3 job site, certainly they could do a little better than this.

Have fun explaining this...

William — Mon, 06 Dec 2004 03:40:00 GMT

Talk about putting your foot in your mouth - Somehow I don't think the 'trailer trash' is going to believe his apology. .

"Sure folks, I'll see what I can do"

William — Sun, 05 Dec 2004 23:15:00 GMT

Didn't these folks get the Memo that Drug Dealing is illegal ?

OReillyroids

William — Sat, 16 Oct 2004 04:52:00 GMT

Damn

this is cool . It's an Asteroids remake with Bill O'Reilly as the space ship and a33e3 for asteriods

Cross-Platform .NET Development Using Mono, Portable .NET and Microsoft .NET

William — Fri, 15 Oct 2004 23:44:00 GMT

Well, I came home today to a pleasant surprise . And fortunately for me, my new iMAC should be here next Wednesday so I can start freestyling, cross platform style. Right now I'm going to see if I can remote a Dataset from my Linux box over to my Win2k3 Server - will report back shortly (or maybe longer depending on how it goes). Next week I'll be able to try it on 3 environments which, if it works will be f****** cool. To be honest though, if I can build a simple assembly that will throw back a Dataset hitting my Oracle DB on the Linux box to my windows machine, use it, play with it and then update from it, I'll be stoked. I know, I can do that with web services and XML but I want to do it in all .NET stuff, with an assembly built on one consuming objects remoted from an assembly built on the other. And then if it works, I want to serialize the the DataSet and find some OS Big Mouth (note, i'm not implying all OSS guys are big mouths, rather, I'm speaking to that particular type of Open Source Advocate ) rename the Dataset to Data$et, put 3 tables in it, Micro$oft, BillGate$ and $teveBallmer) and then shove it right up their a33. Providing it works (which it will), this is precisely the type of thing that proves that the world is a big place with plenty of room for everyone and STUPID language/OS battles are nothing but pastimes for the untalented and dorky.

Much love to Apress on this one.