/bill's House O Insomnia : Humor, Memes

Worst I.T. Excuses

William — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 04:44:00 GMT

It works on my machine
It doesn't matter because no one will ever do that
Users like it the way it is
I don't write any bugs
It'll be fixed in the next release
It'll be ready on Monday, we just need to build the setup package
The spam filter ate it
A little more RAM will fix your performance problem
You can't do that because it's a security risk
The database is slow because it's too normalized

I got these via email and it didn't include the source, so I'm not sure who to give credit to. #1 and #9 really made me laugh. If you have any others, I'd love to hear them.

Better keep my day job

William — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 02:44:00 GMT

I got this from Brian's - it's been around a while but always interesting to re-check.

My blog is worth $10,161.72.
How much is your blog worth?

Looks like i better keep my day job...

The wrong side of a Meme

William — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 00:42:00 GMT

I remember a long time ago, I saw some very scarry looking dude with a "I'd rather see my sister in a whorehouse than my brother riding a riceburner" t-shirt. I don't have a sister and would prefer Japanese motorcycles if I rode bikes, so I can't really empathize. However I guess the point of dude's t-shirt was given two crappy choices, one is clearly better than the other From that perspective, I think I got the "brother riding a riceburner" option in that it could have been worse. But that doesn't mean this still doesn't suck:

Which Programming Language are You?

I guess I need to go find some friends that *know* Microsoft is evil and sucks but can't give a single reason why.

UPDATE: When I noticed this meme in my blogreader for the lower cased one , I immediately thought WTF? He's the last person i would have sent this thing too b/c I know it would trigger a humorous and snarkly comment about such things. he never disappoints

How screwed up are you?

William — Sat, 02 Sep 2006 01:58:00 GMT

I was listening to some old Phil Hendrie episodes and Vernon Dozier was on. This woman calls with a strong Southern Accent and as always, it reminds Vernon of 'mother'. He tells her "it's the kind of thing that makes you want to sit in a room with no furniture and cut the eyes out of pictures." (Strangely enough, I'm starting to truly understand where Vernon is coming from...) If you aren't hip to Phil Hendrie then you won't understand... So I came across the following meme and decided to post it. We've been getting killed with blog spam and the server's been having trouble, looks like I can post again though ;-)

You are 94% messed up.

You are excessively messed up. Presumably your mother dropped you on the head several times when you were younger which lead you to a life of erratic behavior. You are likely to go crazy at the drop of a hat. A Davey Crocket hat, that is.

'How messed up are you?' at QuizGalaxy.com

10 Ten Things that piss you off

William — Sat, 17 Jun 2006 22:55:00 GMT

A thread started over at Sweet Feathery Jesus about Top 10 things that piss you off .

Here's mine (other than the first one, there's no particular order).

1 - Public Service Announcements on XM Radio (In particular, the Hurricane survivial, everything by Earth Share, the Online Predator and anything sponsored by _____ and the Ad Council)
2- Cheesy Morning Shows (Where they sing songs and laugh in the background, laugh at all of their own jokes, steal Howard Stern's material ).
3- People that don't put buggies back at the grocery store
4- Not parking in between the lines (Especially jackasses that insist of backing their cars in the space but can't get it between the lines and end up dinging my car door)
5- Blinged up cars/ Lowrider pickup trucks/ Racing spoilers on cheesy crappy cars
6- People that talk the whole way through a movie
7- Overusing the "CC:", email sigs with that "this message is confidential crap" , setting Priority to High or Read Reciepts on every frigging email (And please don't try telling me how this is 'necessary'.
8- Traffic caused by Rubberneckers
9- Undisciplined kids and their annoying parents, especially in restaurants
10- Homeless people who hassle the crap out of you and particularly ones that say "God Bless you " piously if you don't give them money.

Another Scott R Meme

William — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 02:06:00 GMT

Another Scot Meme

I am Pacman.

I am an aggressive sort of personality, out to get what I can, when I can. I prefer to avoid confrontation, but sometimes when it's called for, I can be a powerful character. I tend to be afflicted with munchies constantly. What Video Game Character Are You?

How much more lame could I get?