Newsgroup Humor

Ok, I guess I should refrain from having a sense of humor (God knows certain Tech editors I know frown about having a personality or using your own code that other people have taken from you).  Anyway, this came up tonight:

SomeGuy: “I can look at performance monitor for pools, pooled
connections etc. What I don't see is a way to tell, say,
of the 25 pooled connections in the pool, how many are
active and open.

Anyone know of any tools for this?

Any ideas?

Anyone ...”

Bill:  “If you're using Sql Server, I believe sp_who returns that information.”

SomeGuy: “I knew somebody would use that answer. Yes, sp_who, and sp_who2
work. Sorry I didn't make myself clear -- I want to monitor in
real time and watch stuff happening "live" like with the performance
counters.”

Bill:  while(true){
   //Call sp_who;

   Thread.Sleep(1000);

   DoEvents()
}

Ok, I didn't really post the last two lines of code but I was going to do for humor sake.  Seems like I have been running into a few too many people without a sense of humor lately so I didn't want to push it. If you really wanted to do it right, you'd take out the thread sleep, fire it in a new thread each time, use  a new connection but not close the last one... But what fun would that be.

NO.  I'm not being serious about this.  And I guess for the sake of clarity, since people having been stealing my code for years and now my blog content, and since people find the other code on Google and often say I took it from someone else......  I should add in a friggin comment  ///Bill Ryan wrote this G@@@@@@@@ code first.

“Bill, you're babbling.”  Actually, no I'm not.  I just didn't have my nightly cocktail of Ritalin/Xanax and Hydrocodone which is typically how I keep from being myself.  So when I'm raw and unedited, I'm very weird.  See my next post.