Rant - I'm such a Rebel

Comments

# William said on December 28, 2004 11:47 PM:

It's hella funny when someone sends you a junk mail joke with such a signature.

# William said on December 29, 2004 11:19 AM:

I, too, hate these kinds of messages. The place I work for attaches one to every message as it leaves our internal systems. It's the worst kind...delete this from your systems. Many companies feel like they have to put these messages on things to protect their rights in case some fool is emailing around sensative information.

Definately not a criminal infraction. They'd have to instigate a civil suit. They're just warning you.

# William said on December 29, 2004 11:51 AM:

My parents used to have a second phone line for faxes and dial-up. The number was similar to that of a private investigator that some lawyers used all the time (had a couple digits transposed). My parents would get 3-10 faxes each week, some of them were 20 pages long. All had similar weasel words. We would call and complain, we would write and complain, we would fax and complain, they would apologize (sometimes), but never change their redial, or reimburse my parents for wasted fax paper (remember the old thermal paper rolls? I bet those lawyers wasted $50-$100 of my parents paper before I stopped it). They finally stopped when I snailmailed the faxes to the people they wanted investigated (at least 10 of them before they stopped). I figure they paid a few tens of thousands of dollars in lawsuits to the folks they were harassing/investigating.

You use my paper, and it is now *my* property. You use my computer, and it is now *my* property. If you don't like that, then neither email nor fax me.

>confidential information...
Where is the written contract I signed agreeing to this?

>for a specific individual and purpose
You sent it to me. Tough cookies. I cannot read your mind, stop acting like I can.

>and is protected by law.
No it is not. You aren't my doctor, wife, lawyer, priest or rabbi. There is no legal priviledge between us.

>You are hereby notified
No I am not. My "terms of service" / EULA (see below) specifically states the manner and method of providing me with legal notification. You might notice that almost every contract includes a section on the manner and methods approved for communication between the parties. There exists no other contract between us, whether express or implied orher than my terms of service and any written NDA.

My recommendation is that you place a "terms of service" link/PDF on your server somewhere, and on those terms of service, include your own weasel words stating that all emails become your company's property (maybe unless there is a WRITTEN non-disclosure agreement in force). Think of it as an EULA, and if they try to sue, make sure that your EULA defines the jurisdiction (you know, *your* local courts) and the law that governs. The EULA should be a PDF with a password for changing password and settings (so they can print it, but can't tamper with it prior to trial, and the footer should say what version it is, and what versions it supercedes). I personally would have my email server *reject* all IRMed emails as spam/trojans. How can you make sure that they can get a copy? Include the url in your p3p policy (business contact uri, disputes section too). Every modern browser downloads the policy when they contact the site.

The way the country is becoming, everyone will either need to hire, or be a lawyer.

I work with the financial industry. Federal regulations require us to save our emails for something like 7 years. Do the weasel words on your email claim that I have to delete it from the server? Hah! The SEC trumps you.

# William said on December 29, 2004 12:48 PM:

Peter - you have to be the coolest dude ever. That's an awesome way to handle it - sending it to the people they wanted investigated.

I worked in Securities for a while too - and I there were both NASD and SEC regs on how long you had to keep correspondence b/c you needed to show that it was signed off on by compliance or someone with a Series 24/8 license. Plus each state had it's own regulations. So our policy was NOTHING got deleted from the server b/c in an audit - you'd have to prove - the Burden of guilt was on you - to prove that what was deleted wasn't subject to regulation.

The whole problem with these things from what an attorney friend of mine told me - is that they lack 'consideration'. In order for it to be binding from a contractual point of view - I have to get something out of the deal for agreeing to it. Normally the courts don't care how small the consideration is but it must be there. This is no more binding than if I put a sign up in my office that said "If you enter my cubicle when I'm writing code - you owe me 10 million dollars".

I guess the thing that pisses me off about these is that everyone I've encountered that uses them is some really low level employee with a chip on their shoulder - trying to sound important. IF you hand me a contract on PAPER, I can show it to people so what's the difference w/ email? It's just so stupid.

Thanks for the post though - I really enjoyed it!

# William said on December 29, 2004 4:02 PM:

By reading this comment you are contractually obligated by law to a) pay me 10 million dollars, b) get me a date with Kim, or c) pretend to like me. You may choose one or all of the above retributions for reading this comment. Any attempts to copy, redistribute, reverse engineer, or delete this comment will result in heavy fines on top of the already noted retributions above. Anything else is strictly prohibited.

# William said on December 29, 2004 4:05 PM:

I already like you Jeremy - so I got off easy on this one. And I promise, if I can figure out how to score 10 Million - I'll hook you up.

# William said on December 29, 2004 4:08 PM:

Indem man diese Anmerkung liest, werden Sie vertraglich durch Gesetz zu A) zahlen mir 10 Million Dollar gezwungen, erhalten B) mich ein Datum mit Kim, oder c) täuschen zu wie mir vor. Sie können eins oder alle oben genannten retributions für das Ablesen dieser Anmerkung wählen. Alle mögliche Versuche zu kopieren, neuzuverteilen, Ingenieur aufzuheben oder diese Anmerkung zu löschen ergeben schwere Geldstrafen auf die bereits notierten retributions oben. Noch etwas wird ausschließlich verboten.

Peter...I swear I didn't reverse engineer your comment and then write it in another language to pass it off as my own...

# William said on December 29, 2004 4:08 PM:

oops...meant jeremy...doh. Now I'm guilty of slander too!