They must have helped Electronic Arts 'motivate' their employees

Published Sun, Nov 28 2004 16:44 | William

Sahil first posted a link to this company and it sounded like it was going to be interesting..  Just by reading the dress code I realized this was definitely somewhere that probably isn't much fun to work at. This is Anal Retention like you've never seen it before.  So I thought, if the dress code is this nuts, the job requirements have got to be really interesting . So being that I hardly know anyone that fits these criteria, I had to see the resumes  of folks that are this hard core.  What in God's name does writing books on Miniature Horses as A Suburban Pet have to do with qualifications as a consultant?  She sounds like a really sweet person and all, but I don't know, Miniature Horse as Suburban pet books seem a little out of place. Something about the page gives that “one of these things is not like other” feeling and that's not referring to any one individual.  It just seems like for one thing - those credentials that they require would screen out a whole lot of extremely qualified people out there and of the ones that were left - I have to wonder who really likes that type of environment.  You HAVE to wear a White shirt?  You Have to wear a Tie that George Bush would wear?  Suit must be Dark Blue, Charcoal or gray?  Shoes have to have Laces and be black?  Protruding Nasal hair is really that big of a problem in corporate America today that it needs addressed specifically on a web site?  I mean - yep, it's sure as h3ll nasty, but I just don't ever recall seeing anyone with Protruding nose hair at work that I can recall.

Now- this part is really funny - as far as the Women go - “No pants allowed, ever. “  Not sure what the policy is on underwear.  Umm, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that seem a wee bit hypocritical being that men are Required to wear pants?  Now, one of the best parts is this one (regarding women):  “All hair must be neatly groomed.  Females with facial hair are required to shave before any on-site engagements.  You should always shave legs (if wearing skirts) and exposed armpits.”

Here's another great line - written ostensibly by a guy with a Master's Degree in Business Administration:  “Remember, the quality of perfume is inversely proportional to the price, and many female executives can quickly tell if you are wearing a cheap, "stink pretty" perfume. “ -- I guess Male Executives and Female non-executives don't have any ability to discern if you're perfume smells good or not.  There's more than a few pricey perfumes that make me gag.

Two things quickly come to mind - if Quality/Price are inversely proportional,  doesn't that mean that $1.00 perfume is of higher quality than $100.00 perfume?  And I guess someone wasn't paying a whole lot of attention in Economics class because this claim indicates that Quality/Price are directly relatd.  Price is merely what you pay for  something  and may or may not be representative of the underlying value.  For instance, if I buy a bottle of Escape from the store for $40.00 and the next day it does on sale for $30.00,  the stuff I bought for $40.00 doesn't have any higher level of quality. And I can tell you for sure that the Packard Pell 486 66Mhz I bought a long time ago was priced well above the Pentium 4 I'm typing on now.

So why am I nitpicking you ask.  Simple. Your manners, the way you treat people, your driving behavior are three things off the top of my head that people may base their opinions of you on.  So let's say that you hear some guy telling his wife how stupid she is and yelling at his kids in public - but he's got Black Lace up shoes 'spit' shined, and a white pressed shirt on.  Which do you think most people are going to pay more attention to?  More to the point, there's a lot more to your image than relatively superficial stuff like the color of your shoes.  One could, perhaps, make a judgement about your company based on your policy towards your employees couldn't they?  Furthermore, there are a LOT of companies that go with Business Casual these days.  Let's say you're assigned at one of these company's for 6 months.  And you are the only one running around in a suit - everyone else is Business Casual.  Would this honestly help your image out there?  I think the phrase “when in rome do as the Romans comes to mind.”

How many 'female exectives' out there do you think might find your female dress code a bit offensive?  I don't know, it just seems that for people to be that Obsessed with image, there are a few chinks in the armor so to speak - and probably stuff that people pay more attention to than your shoes.  And honestly, would you seriously not hire someone or look down on them because they had brown shoes on or cordovan?  Or gasp, Italian Loafers?  Hell, I went on the Versace tie kick for a while, so I bet that'd rule out half of my ties.  I'm a bit of a shoe nut and probably have over 30 pair - but I only own two pair of black laced shoes.    If Bruno Magli is good enough for OJ they're good enough for me too dammit.  And if earth tone calvin kline suits are good enough for Brad Pitt and Al Gore, well, same thing.  And I hate plain white shirts -they're a bit sqaure.

Does anyone even know a big name developer that rolls like this?  I can't think of one.  Nor do I care.  I mean what self respecting woman is going to go to a client engagement without pants unless of course she's a stripper?  That actually sounds like a rule me or Casey would make up.  It's all about technical competency - and conducting yourself like a professional which of course includes a Professional Apperance and proper hygiene.  But Sheesh - I think someone needs to loosen up  - especailly a place with folks that appear to have a good amount of technical game.

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Comments

# William said on November 28, 2004 6:28 PM:

Guide horses for the f#cking blind!?! I'd love to see some of those example questions in her programmer interview book. They even have a book called "horse 911" for vetrinary medicine for horses. They must be based in the south somewhere, no one above the mason-dixon line could possibly be that inbred. They have deep south pyramid schemers written all over them.

As far as dress code goes you brought up strippers at work - I used to work with in a survey firm that had two female drafters that were strippers to earn additional money. They always dressed in good taste while at work and only a few of us knew what their night job was. It's kind of fun working with chics who you know what their p#ssy looks like and you have put singles between their t!ts. Not something I would recommend for a professional environment but for that little company they fit in well and unless you knew them you would never know what their night job was.

Where I work now I would give real money to watch any of the chics in marketing strip at the pole same goes for the telephony marketing director she's way f#cking hot! There are probably ten chics in marketing and every last one of them is a hotty. Plus there are a bunch of other hotties scattered over various depts. Plus both my boss and his boss have f#cking super hot secretaries.

The link you posted has to be the most anal dress code I've ever heard of, I wish ours at work was less strict so the hot chics could let it hang out a bit more in the summer when it's warm.

# William said on November 28, 2004 6:45 PM:

Oh wait dude .. here's the icing on the cake !! http://www.dba-oracle.com/redneck.htm

# William said on November 28, 2004 6:51 PM:

^ OMFG! You can't be serious! This must be a spoof site, this guy isn''t for real is he?

# William said on November 28, 2004 7:46 PM:

Ok Sahil - that makes it hard for me to imagine that this site is for real. He couldn't possibly have stuff that anal everywhere else only to let it all hang out here. Either that or maybe he forgot to take his thorazine. But the "Got Root" shirt makes me think it's real - I don't know - but the whole thing is whacky and having a horse in your f********* house is too weird for me.

# William said on November 28, 2004 7:56 PM:

It's actually real - http://discuss.joelonsoftware.com/default.asp?pg=pgDiscussThread&ixDiscussTopicParent=15807&ixDiscussGroup=3

I'd also mention that fora company who has an expert at helping Fortune 500 companys get placed in search engines, it's crazy that the first two hits are there's an everything else is totally WTF http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Burleson+Consulting references

# William said on November 28, 2004 9:36 PM:

Holy sh*t. That guy is nuts.

# William said on November 28, 2004 10:53 PM:

I'm with you Scott - exactly what runs through the mind of a man that simultaneously worships at the alter of appearence is everything and then has that piece on the redneck thing.

if it's a joke - there's enough there to make you think it's serious and if it's serious - mmmmm, I don't know what to say.

# William said on November 29, 2004 12:10 AM:

I don't think it's a joke. I'm having a hardtime sleeping after I discovered Burlesque consulting .. uhh I mean Burlesome.

Also, read thru the words - the guy is so condescending - I wouldn't wanna be within 5 miles of him .. gives me the creeps !! Uhhhh !!!! Arrhhh !!! Ehhhh !!! Ewwww !!!

Thank you god - he deals with Oracle; keep him the f*** out of .NET !!

# William said on November 29, 2004 12:26 AM:

You mean you wouldn't want to head out after work with him and take a ride in that Fresh Ride of his - or go to his house and pet his Pet Horse?

# William said on November 29, 2004 12:49 AM:

Met pet his horse? I wouldn't even let him pet my monkey !!

# William said on November 29, 2004 12:31 PM:

I love this guys site, did you know that thedailywtf.com has pretty much adopted this guy as their mascot? There has been a few discussions about his site over there in the past few months....funny a$$ stuff. Especially his 'redneck' thing.

# TrackBack said on November 29, 2004 11:48 PM:

# William said on January 3, 2005 5:51 AM:

He forgot: Must not look like a Chipmunk.

Alternatively: Must not look like this:

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/images_tv/dickemery05.gif

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