CrackHeads and Children's Birthday Parties

This morning, a friend of mine had  a birthday for this 2 year old son and me, Kim and Sarah went.  They had it at this park in Spartanburg and it's a really nice place.  So we get there and the kids are playing and I'm shooting the sh1t with a guy Kim works with.  Some dude comes up to the little shelter thing we were in, I can't think of the name of it, but you know, those like covered shelters they rent out at parks.  Anyway, he looked like a bum, probably 29-35, walking with a strong pimp and dressed like a gangsta that was shopping at goodwill. As he approaches us, he mumbles something inaudible to the guy I was talking to.  So the guy I was talking too (Luke) says “I'm sorry man, I didn't catch what you said”  Well cool breeeze whips out a baggy with a piece of paper in it.  As he's doing this, he drops a tiny little plastic zip lock (it was about one inch by one inch and lite red colored) and then bends over to pick it up.  He goes on to show us the piece of paper and says that unless he gets $60.00 to pay his fine he's going to get thrown in jail.  He has a son and he just needs $90.00 ($30.00 to purchase a ticket to Greenville which doesn't cost more than $4.00 on public transit + the $60.00 for the fine).  He tells us that he'll send us the money back as soon as he gets home.  Luke tells him that he's broke so the guy asks me.  I tell him that I'm broke too.  But remember, this is a two year old kid's birthday party.  So he then sees that I have a pack of cigarettes in my pocket and asks me for a cigarette.  I give him one and he immediately asks for some water and soda and food.  He hasn't eaten all day supposedly.  Then he tells us he just got out of jail for something he was falsely accused of doing (I've only been through this routine like 3 Trillion times in Miami).    So Luke goes to get hima  soda just to get him out of there and this dickhead starts hitting up two other people for money.  Then he asks if he can sit down.  When Luke gets back the guy puts the can of soda in his pocket and said that he didn't really want the water.  He didn't want a sandwitch but he would take one of the unopened bags of chips.  At this point I start getting sick of his shit and tell him it's time to go.  He keeps bablling about “I'm supposed to meet someone here” and then keeps trying to invite himself into the shelter because it's 'hot'.  Actually he just wanted to hit people up for money.  If he's so thirsty, why not drink what we gave him?  Why not eat a sandwich or something else that was prepared.... why is he only interested in Large Unopened Food Items?

So I ask him to leave and he says “Let me ask you a question” and I say “NO,  Look here's a pack of cigarettes, here's some water, and here's a sandwich, if you want them fine, if not fine but get out of there.  THis is a Kid's birthday party and we don't need this shit here.”  So he says again “Let me ask you a question” and I say “NO, Get out of here, you just want to come in so you can hit people up for money, you've been here two minutes and already asked 4 people for money.”  So he says “What If I promise not to ask anyone for money”  I said “It's a Kid's birthday party, not a Crackhead assholes party so please get out of here”  He started staring at me like he was going to hit me or something.  I figured what the heck, this guy doesn't need to be anywhere near this many kids so I provoked him a little bit “Look asshole, you can take the food, soda and cigarettes and go, or you can just go, but if you're here by the time I count to 10, you're going to get moved out of here - THis is a kid's party and if you were so sincere about everything and your love for your own son and Jesus (Yes, he hit us with the Jesus thing) you'd leave.  So he says “Let me ask you a question, which car is yours?  Can you just drive me to Greenville, then I'll leave”  I said “Look man, that's why you fucking promised not to ask anyhone for money and that's why I said no from the get go.  You're a fucking bullshitter and you don't need to be around these kids.  NOW I'D seriously recommend that you get the fuck out of there because you're about to get in a fight and I don't think the cops are going to get pissed off at ME for starting a fight with you when they come over here.”

So he tries guilt tripping me.... “Man, it must be nice being a rich white boy, you sound like you have a good education, have a good family, have food, have a car and a phone.  I haven't eaten for 3 days [He was supposedly in Jail yesterday, remember?].  I'm going to go, just give me one more cigarette, please.  I said “Here take the fucking pack and go!”  So then he says “You know what Brother, I'm going to go and Pray for you, that you never end up like me.  God gave you all of those blessings, I used to have all that stuff but things change.  I'm going to pray that doesn't happen to you.  It can happen to anyone.”  So I said “Thanks, that means a WHole Lot.  NO Leave asshole”  So he starts walking off, then almost starts crying and says “God Bless you brother”  He starts praying as he's walking away “God, Bless Him for he doesn't know what he's doing.  Please forgive him Lord, Forgive His Soul”  So now he's equating himself with Jesus.  As he walks away, a couple is pulling into the park and obviously going to another party.  He stops from his prayers, walks over to them and repeats the process.  This sick piece of shit can't even stop that crap for a little kid's party. 

Homeless my a33 --- the word is BUM.