The Punisher --- doesn't get any cooler

Published Sat, Apr 17 2004 15:36 | William

[The review is toward the end here b/c I just had to vent about something]

As you'd have it, Kim was in Spartanburg this weekend and two really cool movies came out (The Punisher and Kill Bill vol. 2).  I've been dying to see both but didn't want to risk the “You went to see  a movie without me...wahhhhh” refrain that girlfriends are sooo good at.   The worst part is that Kim didn't used to be like that.  One of our friend who will remain nameless has a girlfriend that cries over EVERYTHING.  If I didn't know better, I'd think she (friend's girlfriend not Kim) was some mutation wherein the human needs for oxygen, food and water were replaced with crying, complaining and talking about how evil men and Republicans are.  Anyway, we used to have a relationship where I could see any movie I wanted and vice versa.  She didn't like many of my movies and I don't like chick flicks.  So the fact that she didn't invite me to go so Chocolat or some crap like that was very cool in my eyes.  Moreover the fact that I didn't drag her to Halloween 12 was cool with her.  Then comes super bitch.  I went to the movies with my friend and we thought everythign was cool.  However his girlfriend found out and told him that she wanted to see it and that it “Hurt her” that he saw it with someone else first.  The fact that you can get hurt by someone seeing a movie is amazing in and of itself.  Anyway, she laid so much guilt on him that I thought he was going to do himself in.  After two days of listening to her, it got hard listeneing to him.  Never mind the fact that she never told him before hand that she wanted to see the movie and in fact she made fun of the movie beforehand, he was an inconsiderate bastard.  He start telling me stuff like “I really really don't deserve her and I'm really immature, I didn't even consider her feelings”  Beforehand though he was telling me that it was cool b/c she didn't want to see the movie and that he didn't want to pressure her into going but didn't want to go alone.

So, this went on for like three weeks and I think he finally got her to quit bitching and crying about it by agreeing to correctly read her mind in all future cases and never think of doing anything that she might have learned is indicative  of this horrific male dominated society we live in.  I think he also had to apologize for being born male, being born American and white and not having a full enough appreciation of the oppression of women.  Keep in mind that the weekend we saw this movie she was almost 6 hours away and that they only saw each other around 10 times a year.

So she was back in school, another cool movie came out, we went to see it and history repeated itself:.  I created a HisGirlfriend object afterward b/c I was still learning C# back then and it looked something like this:

bool IsSheMadAboutSomethingStupid = true;

while (IsSheMadAboutSomethingStupid){





public void Cry(){

Console.WriteLine(“Waaaahh Wahhhh I didn't get my way, Waaaahhh Wahhhh, I'm a big strong Feminist Whaaah wahhhh“);


public void CrySomeMore(){

for(int i; i< 5, i++){Cry();}


public void DealWithProblem(){

Console.WriteLine(“Men are evil, you don't care about me, you are insensitive, Bill's a bad influence on you, Why do you feel the need to oppress women , I hate you blah blah blah“);


Now, if you are an astute C# developer you'll probably note that this program would go on indefinitely b/c there's no exit condition and that it doesn't model real life b/c there's no entrance condition... nothing was triggered to cause this but the program execution happens no matter what.  Well, that's the beauty of his girlfriend, she gets mad and throws tantrums no matter what.  Throwing tantrums is the newest trend among “Strong Feminist Women” at elite universities as a way of showing how strong they are.  Any aversion to such behavior is proof of a man's inability to deal with a 'strong woman'.  Furthermore, she doesn't ever quit bitching and whining, or if she does, it's not for more than a few seconds so I think the hiccup that will occur by Garbage Collection will model that.


Anyway, back to the move.  Kim heard her point of view and I guess it was on Oprah or something b/c she decided she had a point.  And if my friend couldn't go see any movie without his girlfriend b/c it was insensitive, then neither could I.  As such, there was like a year where I had to wait to see a movie with Kim even if It would be a while and even if I'd be willing to see it twice.  Moreover, I normally do wait for her to see movies, but occassionally if it's really something I want to see (there have been 3 such movies in 2 1/2 years) I'd just go.  I'm  all for being considerate, but at some point that behavior seems, shall we say, controlling.  Fortunately Kim came back to her senses and it takes a good bout of PMS before emily logic starts making sense to her.  So basically now I'll wait if it's something she really wants to see, but it's not a big deal either way.  Since she was coming down tonight, I wanted to see both the Punisher and Kill Bill.  Being that my name is Bill, she was really able to empathasize with Uma Thurman's character so we decided to see it tonight. 

The Punisher totally rocked.  For a comic book movie, there wasn't much 'supernatural' or anything like that.  It was just a cool dude that got really really screwed over by some bad people and decided to handle his business.  He has really really big guns, a cool shirt with a skull on the front of it he got from a Voddoo dude (before I got into programming my ambitions in life were to become a kick a33 witch doctor), a bad ass car and a bunch of gizmos.  Plus he's just plain old f---ed off at the world and doesn't have anything to lose.  So he goes out and kicks butt.  But this is closer to Dirty Harry than a Comic Book movie b/c all in all, it's pretty believable.  I mean it does have your typical hollywood elements, but it all works out well.  The best part is that it has this Count of Monte Christo plot to it.  I won't tell you much more b/c I'll ruin it, but just going around blowing evil dudes away with a big gun isn't enough.  And that's what makes it so cool  He doesn't even have to handle all of his own business.

Kill Bill is going to rock and Kim should be here around 9:00.  It was funny b/c last week when I saw Walking Tall, Buck (”I'm Buck and I'm here to F***”) , the owner of the PussyWagon from Kill Bill Vol 1 was the Sheriff before The Rock kicked his ass.  Obviously buck isn't going to be in this one, but I'm wondering if she's still going to drive the PussyWagon or if she got a new car.  I also read a preview about the possible Kill Bill Vol III where the French chick raises the little orphaned girl.  Uma diced her up pretty good and I hope to see the effects in this movie....

Anyway, things all worked out well.  I got to see both movies in a reasonable time frame, Kim's happy and all is well.  If only my friend would break up with Super Bitch everythign would be perfect.


# William said on April 19, 2004 12:33 PM:

Hi Bill,

I enjoyed your rant on super bitch, I too have had this problem with a friend that my girlfriend had (as I'm sure other guys, and girl have had too - there are guys out there that will do the same thing to their girlfriend).

I thought that you might find this interesting, it's a list of "Impossible Things to Believe Before Breakfast" by comicbook author Dave Sim, his comic Cerebus is amazing, but sometimes he gets a little crazy on his ranting about women and why they are destroying the world as we know it. (I agree with some of his thoughts, but others are just plain wacko). If you want to read the full essay, which is 20 pages, check it out here

1)A mother who works a full-time job and delegates to strangers the naising of her children eight hours a day, five days a week does just as good a job as a mother who hand-rears her children full time.

2)It makes graat sense for the government to pay 10 to 15,000 dollars a year to fund a daycare space for a child so its mother - who pays perhaps 2,000 dollars in taxes - can be a contributing member of society.
All you husbands and daycare daddies are just nodding like crazy. "Makes sense to me, Dave." "Gotta have it. Government-Funded Daycare. No way around that. Gotta have it." "A woman's right to choose! A woman's right to choose!"

3)A woman's doctor has more of a valid claim to participate in the decision to abort a fetus than does the father of that fetus.

4)So long as a woman makes a decision after consulting with her doctor, she is incapable of making an unethical choice.

5)A car with two steering wheels, two gas pedals and two brakes drives more efficiently than a car with one steering wheel, one gas pedal and one brake which is why marriage should always be an equal partnership.

6)It is absolutely necessary for women to be allowed to join or participate fully in any gathering place for men, just as it is absolutely necessary that there be "women only" environments from which men are excluded.

7)Because it involves taking jobs away from men and giving them to women, affirmative action makes for a fairer and more just society.

8)It is important to have lower physical standards for women firepersons and women policepersons so that, one day, half of all firepersons and policepersons will be women, thus more effectively protecting the safety of the public.

9)Affirmative action at colleges and universities needs to be maintained now that more women than men are being enrolled, in order to keep from giving men an unfair advantage academically.

10)Having ensured that there is no environment for men where women don't belong (see no.6) it is important to have zero tolerance of any expression or action which any woman might regard as sexist to ensure greater freedom for everyone.

11)Only in a society which maintains a level of 95% of alimony and child support being paid by men to women can men and women be considered as equals.

12)An airline stewardess who earned $20,000 a year at the time that she married a baseball player earning $6 million a year is entitled, in the event of a divorce, to $3 mlllion for each year of the marriage and probably more.

13)A man's opinions on how to rear and/or raise a child are invalid because he is not the child's mother. However, his financial obligation is greater because no woman gets pregnant by herself.

14)Disagreeing with any of these statements makes you anti-woman and/or a misogynist.

# William said on May 1, 2004 2:17 AM:

Totally agreee, totally cool links! I gotta go read through the rest of links! Thanks !

# William said on January 30, 2005 10:32 AM:

this is a test.
of your emergency broadcast system.
end test.

# William said on January 30, 2005 10:49 AM:

this is a test 2.
of your emergency broadcast system.
end test.

# William said on January 30, 2005 11:56 AM:


# William said on January 30, 2005 1:16 PM:

sorry but this is comment spam from a fellow MVP.
it was posted by an automated bot i wrote.
it uses AI to beat the CAPTCHA test.
i have written an article about it here.


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