"The 7 habits of highly effective people" - here's my rendition - "THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL RETARDS"

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL RETARDS

Habit 1: Be a time/IP theif

Take time from anyone, anywhere for any reason ; even better: take Ideas - be an IP Bandit.

Habit 2: Take 3 hours off for lunch

Feel free to rock back to work with a few drinks under your belt - having a 'roadie' in the elevator back up to your office doesn't hurt either.

Habit 3: Charge out 30% of your time

Make sure you prioritise your workload into billable, unbilliable and then do the unbillable first.

Habit 4: Send out stupid spam around the office

Spam must not be politically correct and first attempts should bounce because of profanities.

Habit 5: Talk on messenger every chance you get

When someone logs on:- chat, When someone logs off stalk them until they re-appear. Guess who on your contact list is doing a presentation and send inappropriate messages so it 'toasts' over the top of their Powerpoint

Habit 6: Spend time researching and writing your blog at work

Blog like it is going out of fashion : blog about stuff that isn't even relevant to your work.

Habit 7 : Spend time looking for other work at work.

Do long distance telephone interviews from your company mobile phone ; Attend interstate face-to-face interviews using the corporate travel service.

Greenie came up with this initially but I modified it a little ; so i'm following Habit 1

 SUMMARY OF THE ACTUAL SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE

Habit 1: Be Proactive

Change starts from within, and highly effective people make the decision to improve their lives through the things that they can influence rather than by simply reacting to external forces.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

Develop a principle-centered personal mission statement. Extend the mission statement into long-term goals based on personal principles.

Habit 3: Put First Things First

Spend time doing what fits into your personal mission, observing the proper balance between production and building production capacity. Identify the key roles that you take on in life, and make time for each of them.

Habit 4: Think Win/Win

Seek agreements and relationships that are mutually beneficial. In cases where a "win/win" deal cannot be achieved, accept the fact that agreeing to make "no deal" may be the best alternative. In developing an organizational culture, be sure to reward win/win behavior among employees and avoid inadvertantly rewarding win/lose behavior.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

First seek to understand the other person, and only then try to be understood. Stephen Covey presents this habit as the most important principle of interpersonal relations. Effective listening is not simply echoing what the other person has said through the lens of one's own experience. Rather, it is putting oneself in the perspective of the other person, listening empathically for both feeling and meaning.

Habit 6: Synergize

Through trustful communication, find ways to leverage individual differences to create a whole that is greater than the sum of the parts. Through mutual trust and understanding, one often can solve conflicts and find a better solution than would have been obtained through either person's own solution.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

Take time out from production to build production capacity through personal renewal of the physical, mental, social/emotional, and spiritual dimensions. Maintain a balance among these dimensions.